Free to Bee™ previously Tame your Mind

Free to Bee

Relatable, Strength-based, Strategic Life Coaching and Tomatis® programmes for ADHD Support in Hamilton, NZ.

Free to Bee™ services:

In Life Coaching, a goal is a change you are working towards that requires effort, focus, problem solving and resilience.

Some examples are: a new job, a promotion, a qualification, saving for something significant, improving a relationship.

Do any of the following sound familiar to you?

Whether there are many characteristics, or just one or two, that challenge your ability to reach your goals, we are here to help you, with strategies grounded in your strengths and values for personalised meaningful change.

Highly-Active Mind

Does your mind feel like it's always running a sprint, even when you're physically still? This constant internal buzz can be incredibly distracting while trying to achieve our goals in life leaving us feeling drained, and seeking elusive peace.

  • non-stop stream of thoughts, ideas, or questions making it hard to relax or focus on one thing.

  • Chronic 'overthinking' making life miserable. 

  • Constant inner-criticism from the audible voice in your head who 'manages' you.

  • Difficulty falling or staying asleep because your mind won't quieten down.

  • constant urge to fidget, move, or seek stimulation to manage this internal energy.

  • Feeling like your brain actually hurts from the sheer amount of information it processes.

  • Mental fatigue and burnout from a brain that is switched on. 

  • Use of drugs or alcohol to slow down your brain.

This relentless mental activity can lead to overwhelm, a feeling of always being 'on,' and a deep longing for peace. Learning to navigate your busy brain with intention, so you can reach your goals can be life changing.

Planning, Prioritising and Focus

Does your mind sometimes feel like it's working against you in terms of planning, prioritising or staying on task as you work towards your goals? You're not alone in these everyday struggles, the struggle is very real:

  • Overwhelmed by the sheer number of tasks, leading to feeling unsure where to begin.

  • Planning and organising feeling like herding sheep, leading to chaos, or not being able to function.

  • Struggling with follow-through or maintaining routines, despite your best intentions.

  • Easily distracted, regardless of how urgent or important a task is.

  • Piles of unopened emails or letters, even though you know they are there, almost like a resistance to life admin.

  • Working longer hours than others to deliver projects, often still delivering late.

  • Great ideas that rarely make it into reality, leaving you feeling frustrated..

  • Constantly distracted, feeling like your 'radar' is set to wide.

These challenges can lead to feelings of drowning under a mountain of tasks, overwhelm, confusion, self-doubt, resentment, and embarrassment.
Implementing creative strategies that work for you can be life-changing.

Persistent Forgetfulness

Does it feel like important details or thoughts vanish from your mind, even moments after you thought of them? This is a genuine challenge that can cause wasted time, loss of motivation and difficulty in reaching our goals.

  • Constantly misplace everyday items like keys, phones, or even your train of thought in a conversation.

  • Forgetting appointments, tasks, or promises can be a regular source of frustration for you and others.

  • Information recall challenges despite reminders and a need to remember.

  • Important information slips your mind, resulting in unanswered emails and messages, unpaid bills, and missed opportunities. 

  • Burning food when cooking because you forgot it was cooking.

  • Forgetting to pick up the kids because you got sidetracked.

  • Feeling like you are going crazy because things just leave your mind.

  • Forgetting how to do things in the moment even when you do know how to do them well.

  • Monitoring by parent/partner felt as nagging, straining relationships.

This consistent challenge can lead to feelings of unreliability, embarrassment, and self-doubt, and can impact your confidence and relationships.
Discovering strategies that genuinely support your memory can bring immense relief.

Task Paralysis

Does that frustrating feeling of being stuck, sound familiar, even when you know exactly what needs to be done? Perhaps you've been described as "lazy' or a "procrastinator" in the past. Difficulty getting started can be a significant barrier in reaching our goals.

  • 'Procrastinating' for hours or days on crucial tasks.

  • The overwhelm of starting feels heavier than the task itself.

  • Feeling guilty or ashamed for not being able to just "do it."

  • Unable to shift into action until the very last possible moment, despite looming deadlines.

  • Routine tasks like housework almost impossible to do.

  • Inability to put things away where they belong.

  • Reliance on takeaways due to inability to get started on cooking or grocery shopping.

  • Constant nagging from managers, colleagues, partners and family causing shame and embarrassment rather than motivation.

This challenge often leaves people feeling overwhelmed, confused, and embarrassed.
Learning to break down the invisible wall of task paralysis can be truly life changing.

Decision Paralysis

Does an endless stream of choices leave you feeling unable to move forward? The overwhelm of too many options, and maybe even the fear of making the 'wrong' decision, can be a real barrier in deciding on and working towards a goal.

  • Spending hours or days deliberating over even small decisions, like what to eat or wear.

  • The sheer number of possibilities feels too heavy, making it impossible to pick just one.

  • Avoiding decisions altogether, leading to missed opportunities or important tasks piling up.

  • Feeling frustrated and ineffective because you're stuck before you even begin.

  • Relying on the opinions of others because it's easier.

  • Not really knowing who you are because others make your decisions for you.

  • Creative blocks stemming from the risk of making 'wrong' choices.

  • Being labelled "lazy" when actually you just can't make the decisions that support the action.

This challenge can leave you feeling overwhelmed, drained, and often misunderstood. It can also lead to people not really knowing who they are and what they want in life, resulting in drifting from thing to thing, place to place, job to job, partner to partner rather than identifying what it is they are searching for.
Discovering how to navigate your decision-making process can bring about progress and a sense of knowing yourself.

Blindsided by Life

Does it feel like important deadlines or events suddenly appear out of nowhere, even if you knew about them for weeks? This challenge can be related to being consistently sidetracked as we work towards our goals due to our attention being diverted to more imminent issues.

  • Constantly caught off guard by looming deadlines, appointments, or responsibilities.

  • Struggling to anticipate and plan effectively for future events, or to break down large projects into manageable steps.

  • Difficulty conceptualising the future, making long-term planning and anticipation incredibly hard.

  • Underestimating the time tasks will take, leading to constant rushing, lateness, or missed opportunities.

  • Feeling like you're always playing catch-up, reacting to crises rather than preventing them.

  • Feeling like life happens to you rather than you creating your life.

  • Feeling confused, misunderstood, or inadequate when others might say, 'I told you so!'

This unique relationship with time, where the future feels disconnected until it's on us, can lead to ongoing stress, missed opportunities, and feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, confusion.
Learning strategies to bridge the gap between 'now' and 'then' can bring about relief, stability and control.

Time Blindness

Does time seem to melt away when you're absorbed in a task, or expand endlessly when you're waiting? When we struggle to accurately perceive and track the passage of time, our goal achievement efforts can either consuming all of our time or frustrating because they are taking time!

  • Hours can feel like minutes when you're hyper-focused on something engaging.

  • Minutes can feel like hours with short waiting periods feeling excruciatingly long, testing patience.

  • Losing track of time while doing an activity or task, leading to missed appointments or late arrivals.

  • Tasks that should take minutes stretching into hours, not due to distraction, but a disconnect with the clock.

  • Constantly rushing, chronic lateness, and a maybe a feeling of being out of sync with the world.

  • Working longer hours than others to complete the same work.

  • Pressure from racing the deadline to avoid being blamed for holding people up.

  • Feeling like you are a liability to the team because you always deliver late, or never your best work on time.

This unique perception of time can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, and a sense of always being behind. Learning to externalise and navigate your internal clock can bring immense peace and efficiency.

Severe Sensitivity to Rejection (RSD)

Does perceived criticism or rejection trigger an intense, overwhelming emotional pain, even if it seems minor to others? In terms of working towards our goals, this can lead to being distracted, replanning or even abandoning our goal, regardless of how close we are to completion.

  • Overwhelming feelings of hurt, shame, or anger from even subtle disapproval or a perceived slight.

  • Re-living moments of perceived rejection over and over, struggling to let them go.

  • Avoiding new experiences, sharing ideas, or social interactions to protect yourself from potential emotional pain.

  • People-pleasing and going to great lengths for approval.

  • Doing things that don't resonate with you or your know are wrong to get approval from others.

  • Intense worry and confusion when calls aren't returned or friends don't initiate contact, leading to feelings of being forgotten or unliked.

  • Intense self-criticism related to appearance, ability, personality etc

  • Rapid shift from calm to explosive anger when feeling misunderstood.

  • The emotional impact feels disproportionate to the event, leaving you feeling confused, isolated, or misunderstood.

This unique sensitivity can lead to significant emotional distress, impacting relationships, self-worth, and willingness to take risks.
Learning to navigate these intense reactions can bring enormous emotional freedom.

Impulsivity

Do you often find yourself acting or speaking before you've fully thought things through? Impulsivity can significantly affects our commitment to working towards our goals.

  • Blurt out thoughts or interrupt others without meaning to, then feel immediate regret or shame.

  • Making snap decisions in finances, relationships, or work that you later wish you'd reconsidered.

  • Struggling to resist temptations or immediate gratification, even when you know it's not ideal long-term.

  • Taking spontaneous risks without fully assessing the consequences.

  • Making life decisions for today rather than the future.

  • Feeling like you often ride the 'passion train' or jump in 'boots and all' only to become bored or lose interest.

  • Always looking for the next big thing or get rich quick scheme only to realise you didn't see the red flags.

  • Saying "yes" to commitments without thinking them through.

  • Feeling frustrated or ashamed by your own actions, leading to self-criticism.

  • Impulse buying in-store or online only to never use or wear the purchase.

  • Affect the lives of others through impulsive decisions leading to shame, sadness and regret.

While impulsivity can fuel creativity and quick action, it can also lead to unintended consequences, misunderstandings, and feelings of frustration or self-blame.
Learning to channel this energy can be truly empowering.

Emotional Overwhelm

Do your emotions suddenly become intense and difficult to manage? Experiencing setbacks is a natural part of working towards our goals. Being able to process our feelings as we navigate the inevitable challenges can result in goals being discarded.

  • Experiencing rapid shifts in mood, from incredibly happy one moment to deeply frustrated the next.

  • Intense emotional reactions from small stressors that feel disproportionate to the situation.

  • 0 to 100 on the anger richter scale in a split second, out of nowhere often for unknown reasons.

  • Difficulty regulating strong feelings, like anger, sadness, or excitement.

  • Finding it hard to 'come down' from strong emotions, leaving you drained and exhausted.

  • Feeling misunderstood or ashamed of your emotional intensity, wishing you could just 'calm down.'

  • Meltdowns or shutdowns when emotions become too intense to process.

  • Physical symptoms like pain, migraines, irritable bowel that are worse when you are struggling emotionally.

  • Strained relationships as others struggle to understand your emotional fluctuations.

This unique emotional 'wiring' can lead to significant distress, impacting your self-worth, relationships, and overall well-being.
Learning strategies to navigate your intense emotions can bring profound inner peace and stability.

Social Communication

Do you sometimes feel like you're missing unwritten social rules, or find communication difficult or interactions unexpectedly draining? Being able to communicate our ideas, wants and needs effectively can make a huge difference to our ability to achieve our goals.

  • Accidentally interrupting others without meaning to, then feeling immediate guilt or shame.

  • Struggling to follow fast-paced group conversations, leaving you feeling lost or on the outside.

  • Difficulty following verbal instructions, resulting in either partial or no action.

  • Talking excessively when excited or nervous, only to regret it later.

  • Misinterpreting social cues, leading to misunderstandings or awkward moments.

  • Social gatherings leaving you utterly exhausted, needing significant alone time to recover, even though you desire connection with others.

  • Finding it difficult to maintain friendships despite your best effort to be a friend.

  • Feeling like an 'alien' in that you sense you don't really belong anywhere.

  • Strained relationships and a feeling of being misunderstood by others.

These challenges can lead to feelings of isolation, self-consciousness, and being misunderstood, impacting your relationships and sense of belonging.
Learning to connect authentically can bring more enjoyable social experiences, new relationships and a deep sense of connection and belonging.

Sensory Sensitivity

Does the world around you sometimes feel 'too much'? Being able to process everyday sensory information (like sounds, lights, or textures) without heightened intensity can help us work towards our goals.

  • Loud noises, bright or flickering lights, or strong smells can feel overwhelming, irritating, or even painful.

  • Certain textures of clothing, food, or objects might lead to extreme discomfort or distress.

  • Having 'eyes' in your fingers, needing to touch and smell things before using or purchasing them.

  • Busy or crowded environments like shopping malls or open-plan offices can quickly lead to exhaustion and agitation.

  • Inability to concentrate in loud, bright or congested environments.

  • Seeking specific sensory input like noise, strong flavors or physical contact to manage or self-regulate.

  • Avoid certain places or activities, limiting your experiences and connections.

  • Feeling drained, irritable, or needing to withdraw after exposure to too much sensory input.

Being easily overstimulated from a sensory perspective can lead to significant discomfort, anxiety, and a feeling of being out of sync with your environment.
Understanding and accommodating your sensory needs can bring immense comfort and enable you to thrive.

Our mission is to offer relatable, practical life coaching to our clients.

We recognise no two people or minds are the same, so we offer personalised life coaching and Tomatis® programmes for ADHD support for adults navigating life with characteristics of ADHD and parents and partners of a loved one with ADHD.

It's easy to connect with Debbie!

Step One

Book in for a friendly chat today.
Email: debbie@freetobee.co.nz
Mon - Fri 10am to 5pm
Phone: 027 230 2310

Connect

Step Two

Work with Debbie to navigate your unique challenges in a way that is meaningful to you and focuses on your strengths.

Craft

Step Three

Live life in a way that is authentically you in with increased self confidence for a more fulfilling future.

Thrive

Meet Debbie!

Feeling ready for a fresh approach to your achieving your goals?
I'm Debbie, and I’m excited to walk alongside you. My lived experience – personally navigating some ADHD characteristics and raising a child with many ADHD characteristics – offers a unique insight into to our coaching journey.
ADHD support through inclusive Life Coaching is all about walking beside a person as they work towards their goal. While my lived experience is only relevant to me, it does give me an insight into the unique challenges of the characteristics of ADHD.

I'm dedicated to helping you gain greater clarity, build self-esteem, and thrive in a world full of challenges as you work towards your goals. Using a unique blend of Life Coaching and/or the innovative Tomatis® programme we work to either manage or minimise your challenges either in-person or online at Free to Bee™ in Hamilton, NZ.

Please Note:

Free to Bee™ is not a Medical or Mental Health Agency or Service.  We are not trained medical or mental health professionals.  Our training is to help clients move beyond life challenges that they believe are holding them back.  As a Life Coach, we welcome people with characteristics of ADHD and other neurodiversities. We do not claim to be a coach who specialises in Coaching for ADHD or any other neurodiversity.
We are trained in Tomatis® auditory retraining and are passionate about Tomatis support for ADHD and other neurodiversities. While our services may contribute to increasing a person's overall resilience and ability to thrive despite life's challenges, it is not a replacement for medical or mental health help, support, diagnosis or advice.
If you are looking for a mental health service please click the link below for a list of agencies providing assistance.

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